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Guest Articles

On this page I will share with you articles of colleagues whose work I respect. I hope you will find them interesting and receive much inspiration from them.

Why Parents of Addicts Need to Care for Themselves

by Mel McDonnell

When a beloved child falls prey to addiction, a parent’s world is
immediately turned upside down. While it is logical to question one’s own
parenting when it comes to attributing a cause to addiction, we should bear
in mind (though it can be difficult) that we cannot blame ourselves and we
cannot make our children better; only they can.

Al-Anon encourages parents to refocus on the situation by keeping the Three
Cs in mind constantly: these are: We didn’t cause our child’s addiction, we
cannot cure it and we certainly can’t control it. Only the person trying to
overcome the disease can recover, and only if they really want to.

It seems to be such a basic assertion, yet there is no way that we can help
anyone when our health (physical, mental, or spiritual) is run down. Yet
when our children are in the throes of addiction, our body automatically
invokes the ‘flight or fight’ response – when faced with a tense situation,
we either fight the stressor or escape it. Our system is flooded with
stress hormone, cortisol, and we enter into a state of panic. While this
response is useful when we are in a situation of real and imminent danger,
it is of no use when addiction is concerned, since when we are in this
state for too long, it wears down our defenses and leaves us feeling weak
and defeated.

As you help your child overcome their addiction, it is vital that you, too,
obtain the help you need. Do opt for therapy; do share you story, concerns
and questions with other families who are in your situation and do have
faith that your child will prevail. The best thing you can do for them is be
your strongest, fittest and happiest self
<http://www.recovery.org/why-self-care-is-essential-for-parents-of-addicts/>,
so they always see you as you were meant to be: their solid, confident rock
of support.

 

Purposeful life – how to find your unique purpose

by Tim Pond

. Do you want to experience life more fully?
. Do you want to find deeper meaning in your life?
. Do you want to make a difference and make the world a better place?
Each of us has a unique purpose on earth. You can look for it and find it and
experience life more fully.

What is a unique purpose?

All people on Earth have their own unique purpose in life, their own truly
meaningful task for which they have a natural born talent. You can acquire
additional skills and opportunities during your life in order to live out
your purpose. Every person is unique.
According to C.G. Jung, a pioneer in psychology, adult life consists of the
continuous pursuit of maturity and becoming one’s own self. Jung calls this
pursuit individuation. A human being has an inner will to seek the meaning
of life and to move towards a greater and a more genuine awareness. This can
be consciously suppressed for years, or it can be ignored during a life
spent in the hustle and bustle trap, but it is always seeking an outlet.
A purpose is not a mere occupation or profession – it is much more. But
a meaningful purpose is not a destination. Purpose is the answer to the question
“why?” Vision is the answer to the question “how?” Concrete goals and
objectives arise from a meaningful purpose. Once you have found out what
your purpose is you can check whether your own goals and objectives are
consistent with it. And if needed you can set new exciting goals that
fulfill your purpose.
Purpose never comes from the outside. You need to find it yourself by
gaining insight into it. No one not even your parents for example can
impose a meaningful purpose on you from the outside. It is something that
you feel as your own, a calling of sorts, something creates the sense that
you are giving something to the community.

How you can find your unique purpose?

One of the modern human being’s biggest problems is that in the middle of
the hustle and bustle of life he loses orientation. He loses understanding
of where he is headed and why. He cannot slow down and listen to himself and
his real needs. You may need to take a 2-3 day retreat. A retreat means
withdrawing into quietude. Throughout history Jesus and prophets and other
messengers have regularly sought solitude. It has helped them maintain their
orientation. A retreat helps you understand what is essential in life and
where you are heading.
Seek a tranquil place for a few days and take pen and paper with
you. Nothing else. Do not take anything to read with you. Keep your mobile
phone off. Don’t watch TV or listen to music. It is a total no-info diet.
During your retreat ponder over your life. What are you prioritizing now
and what do you want to prioritize in the future? Is this the road you want
to continue? Do you want to make changes? What changes? Is there another
road you can take? Answer these three empowering questions:

1. Which things or tasks do I enjoy most?
2. What would I do if I could do anything without failing?
3. What would I do if I learned I had only six months to live?

Please take your calendar and book your retreat. You will find clarity
and insightful answers to these three questions.

Don’t look for happiness; look for purpose

Tim Pond is an author, speaker and coach. He has published ten books. His
own unique purpose is to help people gain insights and make their lives
extraordinary. To learn more about his latest book The Three Insights, visit
www.threeinsights.net/book 

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